Creating Memorable Moments for Dad

Parenting is not 50 – 50. My mom told me that once. It’s true; I don’t know why I ever thought it would be. 

Usually, one parent takes on the role as lead parent.  That is not to say that one parent over-rules the other.  It just means that one parent takes on the brunt of the daily tasks when it comes to the kids. I happen to be that parent. This is not by design, but rather because of my husband’s work schedule.  He doesn’t have the flexibility that I often have or can often create, so I’m the parent who takes the kids to more practices, more games, picks them up after school, gets their homework done, and takes them to the doctor, dentist, or birthday parties.

When you’re the lead parent, it can be a real drag. It’s why we want to tag out as soon as the other parent walks in the door.  I might feel like it’s unfair sometimes, but I'm wrong. It is just the reality of our circumstances. I see more and more fathers in these reversed roles. So much so that one day, I won't need to call it a "reversed" role. So I can’t say that it’s a mom thing, although I do think that moms will more often than not step into that lead parent role. There’s just something about moms.

Father’s day was here and gone.  We made dad a great breakfast, sent him to Monster Jam with his son, spent some time on the river together as a family. My daughter was nagging, whining, complaining and crying a good portion of that time, so I even treated my husband and took her away!  (Keeping it real.)

Father’s Day shouldn’t be the only day that we do something nice for dad.  Same for Mother’s Day. It’s just one of those days that you are reminded to be appreciative of your parent, it shouldn’t be the only day.

Thinking back on my role as the “lead” parent, sure, there have been times where I’ve felt frustrated that I had to do something without help. There are also times that I sit at a baseball practice or soccer practice, or at the playground, or at the ice cream shop and I relish the time I’m getting to spend watching my children enjoy what they’re involved in, or playing with them, or being able to giggle with them over the funny stories we’re telling.  Those times make me feel like being the lead parent is da BOMB! Those are the times that I feel like my husband is really missing out. He’s working hard in order to provide for us and he has to miss out on a lot of really great experiences, and just okay experiences and awful experiences that in ten years will seem funny.

The other day I decided to create one of those experiences for him.  I treated him to a water balloon fight between him and the kids.  He came home to a bucket of water balloons on the porch with a note for him to arm himself and find the kids in the backyard.  So many nights he walks in the door and hears me yelling, or the kids fighting and someone crying, dinner inevitably late and the house usually a mess. Not this time. 

He had such an adorable grin on his face when he saw the balloons and he really got into the battle. Hearing those kids in the yard giggling away behind their big red bucket of water balloons, I think made his day! Despite my yearning to pelt one of my kids with a water balloon in the forehead, I stayed out of it. I just took some pictures to document the joy as it unfolded.

It was a fleeting moment, but one that I hope my husband will relish for a long time. We all need those moments. Even dads.